We all know that parents have a significant influence on their children, shaping who they become as adults. However, not all parents have a positive impact on their children’s lives. Specifically, some mothers can be toxic figures in their children’s lives, causing significant emotional damage.
If your mother was overly critical, emotionally manipulative, or controlling, you may have grown up in a toxic environment. In this article, we’ll explore eight signs that suggest you were raised by a toxic mother.
You Were Always Walking on Eggshells
One telltale sign of having a toxic mother is feeling like you are always walking on eggshells. If you were constantly afraid of making her angry or causing a scene, you may have grown up in an emotionally abusive environment. This can lead to a lifetime of anxiety and a sense of constantly needing to please others to avoid similar situations.
Your Mother Engaged in Emotional Blackmail
Were you ever made to feel guilty about your choices? Did your mother threaten to disown or withhold her affection if you didn’t do what she wanted? If so, your mother may have used emotional blackmail to control you. This can lead to feelings of guilt and fear anytime you assert your own needs or desires.
You Were Taught That Your Feelings Didn’t Matter
Toxic mothers often dismiss their children’s emotions, telling them to “stop being so dramatic” or that “things aren’t that bad.” This can be especially damaging to a child’s self-esteem and sense of emotional wellbeing. If you find it challenging to express your emotions or believe that they don’t matter, it may be a sign of growing up in a toxic environment.
Your Mother Was Overly Critical or Competitive
Did your mother constantly compare you to others? Did she make you feel like you were never good enough, no matter what you achieved? This type of criticism can lead to low self-esteem and a constant feeling of inadequacy. It may also lead to a sense of always needing to compete with others to prove your worth.
You Have Difficulty Setting Boundaries
Toxic mothers often don’t respect their children’s boundaries, either physical or emotional. If you grew up in this type of household, you may have difficulty setting boundaries in your adult life. This can make it challenging to maintain healthy relationships or assert your needs in the workplace.
You Have Difficulty Building Trust
Trust issues can stem from growing up in a toxic environment. You may find it difficult to trust others, leading to a cycle of emotional distance and isolation. This can be challenging in romantic relationships or friendships, where trust is essential.
You Struggle with Self-Care
Growing up with a toxic mother can lead to a lack of self-care, both physically and emotionally. You may struggle with basic self-care tasks, such as eating well or exercising. You may also find it challenging to be kind to yourself, leading to a cycle of negative self-talk.
You Have Difficulty Expressing Your Needs
Finally, growing up in a toxic environment can make it difficult to express your needs to others. You may feel like your needs don’t matter or that others won’t care about what you have to say. This can make it challenging to advocate for yourself in personal or professional relationships.
Conclusion
If you grew up with a toxic mother, it is essential to seek out support to help you heal from the emotional damage. Although it can be challenging, setting boundaries and working on building trust are crucial steps in the process. Recognizing the signs of a toxic mother is the first step towards breaking the cycle and creating a healthy and happy life. Remember; just because someone is your mother, it doesn’t mean they can’t have a negative impact on your life. It’s okay to seek help and support to create a life that is healthy, fulfilling, and happy.
