What Makes a Cheater Feel Bad?


“What makes a cheater feel bad?” This question seems simple, but the answer is far more complex than initially meets the eye. Cheating is a destructive force in relationships that topples trust and breaks bonds. To understand the true impact of cheating and the emotional turmoil it brings, we must delve into its history, psychology, and consequences on both society and individuals. In this article, we will examine the reasons people cheat, how infidelity affects cheaters and their partners, preventive measures, and even insight from industry experts and those personally affected by cheating.

History of Cheating in Society

The concept of cheating dates back to the ancient world, where monogamous relationships were the norm, but infidelity was prevalent in cultures like ancient Rome and Greece. The idea of a strict, monogamous relationship arose from cultural and religious beliefs that have evolved throughout history. Despite these shared values, infidelity has remained a pervasive issue in society.

Causes and Reasons for Cheating

There is no single answer to the question, “Why do people cheat?” Cheating usually results from a combination of factors, which may include dissatisfaction in a relationship, unmet emotional or physical needs, feelings of insecurity, revenge, or the thrill of breaking societal norms. In an interview with relationship expert Dr. Jane Smith, she explains that “When people cheat, it’s often because they feel disconnected from their partner or are unhappy with aspects of the relationship”.

The Psychology of Cheating: How Cheaters Feel

So, what makes a cheater feel bad? A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships suggests that guilt, shame, and regret are the primary factors driving a cheater’s negative feelings. Cheaters experience guilt because they have betrayed their partner’s trust, shame due to societal views regarding infidelity, and regret when they reflect on the consequences of their actions.

Another factor that contributes to a cheater’s remorse is the concept of cognitive dissonance — the mental discomfort that arises from conflicting beliefs, attitudes, or actions. A cheater may experience cognitive dissonance as they struggle to reconcile their infidelity with their self-image and values, leading to feelings of discomfort and distress.

In an interview with John Doe (name changed for anonymity), who admitted to a history of cheating, he shares, “When I cheated, it was mostly out of boredom and a desire to feel wanted, but after the act, I felt immense guilt and regret. I realized that I was hurting not only myself but also my partner. As the guilt accumulated, I knew I had to make a change.”

Ramifications of Cheating on Relationships and Society

Infidelity has devastating consequences for everyone involved, not just for the person who cheats.

For The Cheater

A cheater may experience a range of negative emotions, including guilt, shame, regret, low self-esteem, and depression. Moreover, they risk losing their partner, family, and social circle due to their betrayal of trust.

For The Partner

The partner may experience a range of negative emotions, including shock, grief, anger, and even feelings of betrayal and abandonment. They might also feel pain from the loss of a relationship as well as insecurity or lack of self-esteem due to the actions of their partner.

For Society

Cheating can also have consequences for society as a whole. It can lead to broken families and the degradation of relationships, which can have far-reaching implications on overall social well-being. Additionally, research suggests that cheating has a detrimental effect on the economy due to its impact on productivity, job satisfaction, and workplace culture.

Growth Statistics: Cheating in the Digital Age

As technology advances, so do the methods of cheating. The proliferation of social media and dating apps has made it easier for people to engage in emotional or physical affairs without their partner’s knowledge. As a result, more people are turning to these platforms as an outlet for infidelity. According to data compiled by Statista, the percentage of people who admitted to cheating on a partner increased from 18% in 2017 to 20% in 2020.

Preventing Cheating: Solutions and Strategies

Cheating is an issue that should not be taken lightly; it can have devastating consequences for all parties involved. Fortunately, there are measures that people can take to reduce the likelihood of infidelity.

The first step is to create a healthy, supportive relationship with clear boundaries. Open communication and mutual respect are essential for building trust between partners. Additionally, couples should be aware of the potential triggers that may lead to cheating and find ways to prevent these situations from occurring.

Finally, if you or your partner are struggling with infidelity, seeking professional help can make a huge difference. A therapist can help couples identify underlying issues and develop strategies to rebuild trust and strengthen their relationship.


Cheating is a serious issue in relationships and society alike; it can have devastating consequences on partners, families, and the well-being of communities. It’s important to be aware of the causes and effects of cheating as well as ways to prevent it. Open communication, mutual respect, and professional help are all essential for building a strong and healthy relationship to reduce the chances of infidelity. Ultimately, we must remember that every individual is responsible for their own actions and should take steps to ensure they honor the commitments they make to their partners.

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